Do you ever feel opposed from all sides? Misunderstood? Thoroughly fried?
And at the same time, like you can take special joy in the small miracles, the tiny moments of goodness that stand out in what sometimes seems like a sea of struggles?
That's me lately. Many people have told me that the thirties are "the lean years." "The labor intensive times". "A blur". I agree with all these in a way I never could have imagined. I had a vision of my life that is so different from the reality. I think about Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life" often...I relate to him sometimes. And that movie helps me because it reminds me that there is a reason things turn out the way they do, that people get helped, blessed, and even saved by the decisions we make that seem trivial at the time.
2008 has been a tough year. So far it has included death, departure, failures too many to count, and moments of conflict from without and within. When I think about it, it gets overwhelming.
But on the other hand, there have been amazing friendships built. Renewal. Smiles and jokes and really, really good cups of coffee. Fresh air mornings and the feeling of strength. So many lessons learned, so many new words and phrases. New recipes. New routines. A feeling of home. Knowing I wouldn't want to trade my life for anyone else's, no matter how hard this one may turn out to be.
We are now in the fourth quarter. My favorite time of the year. I mean, the fun starts now and just doesn't stop till 2009 arrives. I know I'm not in the clear yet. I'm going to need to be humble, to forgive, to be kind and patient when I don't feel like it, to clean up more messes. To apologize for yelling...again. But with my God I can scale a wall, right? Aren't these the times that give us such wisdom and character when we are old?
I certainly hope so!
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